It's official. It is my beloved Argentina.
I've kept my blog posts as up-beat and focused on the positive as possible. But let's take a reality check. SPOILER: Honesty moment alert. Studying abroad is an experience of epic proportions. In definition it takes you away from everything familiar, everything normal and throws you headfirst into a foreign culture, where they speak a different language that you've only ever learned in a classroom, operate differently, think differently, act differently, eat differently... It's an adjustment and acceptance process.
Before I left for Argentina, I was required to take a class to prepare. This class, although it seemed silly at the time, has proved to be a huge help to me. If nothing else, it kept me thinking as positively as possible through the ups and downs of culture shock.
Oh culture shock, two nasty little words. The funny thing about culture shock is that you cannot really recognize it while you are going through it--it is a very retrospective process. I first experienced culture shock this past summer when I traversed the European continent. I definitely didn't recognize it at the time but just felt incredibly overwhelmed and exhausted and sad and a million other feelings. After being in the class, I realized that what I had felt wasn't me being "weak" or "unworldly" but rather a very normal and very expected reaction to encountering new cultures. I thought I was much more prepared (i.e. invincible) this time around, but the culture shock virus did eventually catch up with me--in new and unexpected ways.
So first in the Culture Shock Curve comes the honeymoon phase. This is also known as the "tourist" or "cultural euphoria" stage. Usually when just visiting for a short period of time, you stay within this phase the whole time. Everything is peachy-keen and you see the world through rose-colored glasses. The words exciting, cultural, new, happy are thrown around a lot. Next, we start to slide down the curve into the deep dark oblivion of "cultural confrontation." Just like the class warned, I found myself here about a month ago, almost exactly halfway through my experience. I knew it might come, but at first I struggled to recognize that my homesickness feelings or frustration with my life here came from culture shock--but they certainly did. It wasn't as intense as I experienced this past summer, but it was there. I felt out of place and sad. I missed home, missed good ole American food, missed my family, my friends. But more than missing, I felt a little lost here. I felt like my Spanish wasn't improving anymore, I felt like I was missing out on opportunities to improve it. I was basically grumpy for about two straight weeks.
Like magic, I transitioned into the "cultural adjustment" phase. According to my manual, this means I have reached "significant cultural adjustment." I beam with pride. It was as much a conscious decision as a unconscious one. I looked at the calendar and realized I had less than half of my time here and rededicated myself to taking advantage of every opportunity. Also, the people here really helped me. I started to realize how much my friends that I've made meant to me. And also, how much I would miss not seeing them everyday. I maybe haven't gotten as much sleep the past few weeks, but I've had the best times. No worries, I'm still making time for school, and sleep--both pivotally important I know. I feel myself falling in love with this experience a little bit more everyday. I know I am changing. I feel it, I see it every time I look in the mirror. I know I am more self-reliant, I've learned to not sweat the small stuff as much, I have an ever-increasing capacity to relate cross-culturally. Call me a cliche, but I am becoming the person I've always wanted to be.
I don't think I've quite reached the "cultural adaptation" stage. I'm not completely accepted as a Cordobesa quite yet--but I'm getting there. I must say again, it's easy to focus on the language and say, "Wow, look at that-- I've gotten so much better at Spanish." It is very true; but it is so much more than that. I've gotten better at being Becky. I can't wait to find out what the last two months here has in store for me. Stay tuned.
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